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Saturday, July 25, 2015

The Old Ways?

Hey All!

A random thought has made its way through my mind in light of the deal our country recently made with Iran:  At what point are old traditions no longer needed?

No matter where you stand in the political theme, there is no doubt that a great enemy to the United States is radical Islam.  And I say radical Islam not only to pinpoint the problem, but to emphasize that the religion, as a whole, is not the enemy.  Those who commit unspeakable acts in the name of that religion, however, most certainly are.

Judaism and Christianity are based on scriptural texts dating back millenia.  Leviticus and Numbers point to several prohibited acts that were punishable by death while the Jews were still wandering in the desert, and were most likely enforced during the days of the Temple when the need arose.  The New Testament is full of rhetoric that casts negative light on all those who lacked faith or acceptance of what was revealed.   It cannot be denied that Both Halves Of The Book either direct, encourage, or enable force against unbelievers that today would be completely unnecessary and unacceptable.

However, from what I've seen in my short life span, most churches and synagogues are welcoming of anyone who walks through their doors.  No clergy has the authority to save or damn any soul in the congregation.  Nobody is turned away for not conforming.  And last but not least, nobody has a death sentence imposed for their nonbelief.

This is because organized religion has had the wisdom to be aware of the time and place in which it exists, and to shape its rhetoric accordingly.  This is because it has realized that creating divisions ad infinitum is simply unworkable, while creating places that are welcoming, acceptable, and friendly better meet the spiritual needs of modern times than those that crash and bash those outside their realms.  Otherwise, their congregants would simply become alienated and leave.

So why is it different with radical Islam?  Why do they cite to portions of the Koran and the Hadith for the justification of the horrible things they do?  Why have they not presented their adherents with mercy and mildness, or joy and rapture?  Why is violence so much more acceptable to them than it could ever be with us?

Apparently there are not very many Bold Betas where they are most needed.  :)

I have often declared that as Betas, we are not subject to the chapters and verses of the alphaganda.  We are not bound by the yoke of its commandments, we are not required to abandon our own idenities in the name of groupthink, and we are never to believe that we are unworthy merely because we do not conform to such ancient and unquestioned standards.

Forgive me for pointing, but it seems to me that Western organized religion had its own alphaganda at one point, and then realized that it was no longer valuable.  Nobody has ever suggested repealing or deleting these ancient texts, but it was clearly a wiser choice to simply not enforce, propagate, or emphasize those portions that would cause more harm than good.  Whether you belong to any one religion, or none at all, we can all agree that softening the approach was a good thing for organized religion in this country.

The question remains, who will challenge the radical alphaganda?  Who will question why such barbaric practices are used to murder and torture others?  Who will reject ISIS, and any government that supports it, and demand that such radical elements be eliminated?  Whether or not our country sends boots on the ground against these enemies once more, it seems to me that this is something that must be handled most effectively within the ranks of the adherents of that faith who are not radicalized, and reject terrorism in all forms.

Let us hope and pray that the radical elements will be neutralized and dismantled from within, as it was once was within our own ranks.

DISCLAIMER:  the above post is not meant to smear, besmirch, insult, or ridicule any organized religion.  Any offense perceived is the responsibility of the reader.

Thanks!

Sunday, July 19, 2015

All In The Timing

Hey All -- hope you're enjoying the summer!

Lately, I haven't been talking about our adversaries.  However, someone once said that it is wise to study the ways of one's adversary.  And so let's review:

One big difference between us and the alpholes is that they choose to be aggressive at times when it is completely unnecessary to do so.  Maybe they do this because "it's the way they're made."  Maybe they had a disapproving parent who was that way too.  Maybe they feel a need to show their crowd that they're tough enough to hang with them.

Here's the world's smallest violin playing "Hearts & Flowers" for them.  NONE OF THAT makes it acceptable to push others around.  NONE OF THAT means that we should permit them to shove us so they'll feel better.  And despite opinion to the contrary, NONE OF THAT makes them winners.

Their downfall is that they're aggressive when they shouldn't be, and they're NOT aggressive when they should be.  To overcome this, we must choose our battles far more wisely than they do.

Ummmm, Daaaaaave?  Who are you to judge these poor, innocent victims, who have every right to be this way?  How do yoooooou know when to be aggressive and when not to be?

I'm glad somebody asked me!  Aggression is obviously tied to the "fight or flight" response that we're all born with.  The difference is that the alpholes think the "fight" switch should be on whenever someone weaker than them is within hearing difference, and that the "flight" switch should be on whenever the consequences of their actions materialize.  But when should these two responses be set?  Here you go:

WHEN TO BE AGGRESSIVE:
(1)  When you have a dream or a goal to achieve.
(2)  When distractions get in the way of that dream or goal.
(3)  When you have a job to do.
(4)  When you need to find a job to do, because you don't already have one.
(5)  When your life is in danger.
(6)  When you are faced with imminent bodily harm.  And someone saying they'll cause it does not make it imminent.
(7)  When you have exhausted all good faith efforts to avoid or alleviate conflict, and the proper authorities have not solved the problem already.
(8)  When someone makes a mistake, refuses to accept responsibility for it, and points fingers at everyone else.

WHEN NOT TO BE AGGRESSIVE:
(1)  When you think it's funny to disparage someone.
(2)  When someone is irritating or annoying you.  This does not rise to the level where aggression is needed, no matter how unpleasant it is.
(3)  When non-conflict remedies have not yet been utilized.
(4)  When someone's opinion is different from yours.  You can be assertive in expressive your opinion, but beating someone over the head is not necessary.
(5)  When presented with minor inconveniences.
(6)  When you're disappointed with your own shortcomings.  Instead, be gentle with yourself, but learn from whatever errors were made.
(7)  When someone else makes a mistake and they own up to it.

Of course, these lists are by no means exhaustive.  But notice how easily this is demonstrated in outline format?  How it eliminates all ambiguity that the know-it-alls and posers wish they could point out?  I've got someone very close to me to thank for that.

In our daily struggle to remain Bold and Bulletproof, we must embrace the fact that we are different from these other types, and use our differences to our advantages.  This is only one of several ways that this can be done, and others will follow.

See ya all!!!!!





Sunday, July 12, 2015

Play Ball!

Hey All!  

It's All Star Week for Major League Baseball.  So here are some baseball analogies!

The alpholes of the world have somehow been conditioned to believe that getting someone upset is a win.  It's mas puntos.  It's a trip, it's fun, it increases their status.  Or, some might say, it makes them the strikeout kings!

Getting angry and flying off the handle is like a ground ball to them.  Losing control is like having them run into the stands to catch a foul ball for an easy out.  Hitting below the belt and having you admit that you can't take what they said is a third strike down the middle!  Instead, what we need is a base hit between third and short, an RBI, or a home run.  In other words, we have to get hits off their pitching!

Any ballplayer will tell you that you have to be smart at the plate.  Look at where the infield and outfield have moved.  Look where he's aiming the pitch.  Watch for the curve.  If it's going outside, be smart and quick enough to not swing at that pitch.  If it's going inside, don't be scared, but get out of the way.  But if you know that it's your pitch, swing for the fences!

By the same token, accept this reality.  About 90% of what these would-be aces are throwing are bad pitches.  If we're smart enough to avoid swinging at these bad pitches, we walk.  They fail.  They missed a beautiful opportunity to fake us out and win over us.  Guess we're not like those bush-league hitters, huh?

But when we're Bold and Bulletproof, we're ready for them when they throw strikes.  As outlined in the last post, we can foul off those pitches when we capture evidence of their misdeeds and present them to the authorities. That means we are quick enough to get a piece of their pitching and not let them manipulate us.  And if they find a curve or change up, we can see it coming, and we can send it downtown!  That means that we know what they're going to do, we won't fall for it, and we'll use their tactics against them.

And more importantly, we will not let any emotional reactions impair our judgment.  That is the only way they can beat us, and we'll deprive them of that opportunity!  They can't force us to play by their rules if we stick to our rules and resist all distractions.

So that's the jam for now.  Enjoy the All Star Game on Tuesday night!

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.



Sunday, July 5, 2015

Mistakes

Hey All!  Hope you had a great July 4th!

Even on our best day, we can still make mistakes.  And even if you trust someone completely, they might make a mistake too.  However, there are ways of dealing with them.

(1)  DID YOU MAKE A MISTAKE?  Try reacting this way:

  (A)  Remember that this is an opportunity to think outside the box in ways you would not have been able to if you were "perfect."
  (B)  Knowing this, fix it.
  (C)  Unless there is a matter of life or death, any mistake can be fixed, or at least mitigated.  Just think, and the idea will come to you.
  (D)  Accept responsibility for it and move on from it.

(2)  DID SOMEONE ELSE MAKE A MISTAKE?  Do this:

   (A)  Help them fix it if you can.
   (B)  Explain what can be done to avoid it in the future.

NOWHERE IS THERE AN ADMONITION TO BEAT YOURSELF UP OR FALL ON YOUR SWORD WHEN YOU'RE WRONG.  There is a difference between a humble apology and making a self-effacing, self-loathing, pathetic spectacle of yourself.  Nobody respects people who burst into tears like Jimmy Swaggart admitting he "sinned."  The amount of penitence and atonement you demonstrate should be embodied in your remedial efforts, and should be emphasized to the extent that they overshadow your strengths.

NEITHER IS THERE A DIRECTION TO BREAK SOMEONE ELSE DOWN IF IT'S THEIR FAULT.   That is strictly the province of predators and alpholes.  Far too many people look for a chance to point fingers, laugh at someone's errors, or convince someone that this mistake renders them unrespectable.  We're better than that.

As Bold Betas, we are often sidelined by others' reactions to our mistakes.  Not only is this a painful experience, but it also leads us to believe that it is acceptable to abuse someone else who has made a mistake.  This can only bring us down the path of the alpholes, who think nothing of ripping people apart because they're "only being honest."  Odds are more than likely that they do not demonstrate such honesty with their own shortcomings.

Follow these simple steps, and you'll prevent yourself from following their example.  You'll gain both experience and respect.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM ME.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Liberty

Hey All!  Big doings in the news.

Last week, the Supreme Court found that the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment allows for gay marriage.  This is welcomed as a victory for civil rights.

This blog provides motivation and encouragement to men and boys who have been bullied, broken down, and told that they do not represent the image of the ideal "real man."  Thanks to the alphaganda, generations grew up believing that gay was the worst thing a man could be.  Accordingly, I must support gay marriage.

Any man or woman who is ready to make such an exclusive commitment should have the right to do so.  And if he feels naturally in love with another man, or she feels naturally in love with another woman, then let them marry.

The slippery slope others fear does not exist.  This cannot lead to incestuous marriages, as their offspring would have unnatural deformities.  This is why there are already laws prohibiting such relationships, with or without marriage.  Neither can it lead to pedophilic marriages, since children are not prepared for marriage.

Marriage is, and always will be, a relationship for two consenting adults.  Not three, not seven, but just two.  This is more of the same.

The gay community has suffered from bullying, due in no small part, to the notion that a "real man" is not gay.  Many victims of bullying have been called gay so many times, due to their perceived weaknesses, that they begin to question whether or not they are.  

This decision, in granting the right to marry, puts gays on equal footing with straight men, at least in this sense.  I applaud and celebrate this.

Just one caveat - you still have to respect other people's rights too.  If someone else is not yet comfortable with the fact that you have these rights, you can't force them to be comfortable.  This isn't 1984 and you're not the Thought Police.  If a bakery has reservations about baking a cake for a gay wedding, then tell them how wrong they are, with some choice words thrown in, and find a bakery that is willing to do it.  You don't get to ruin someone else because they say no, just like they don't get to ruin you for being yourself.  If they're not attacking you, but simply disagreeing with you, emotional maturity requires that you not engage that battle.  Don't make yourself worse than them.

It is now the law of the land that gays have a right to marry.  Nobody can take that right away.  But with rights come responsibilities.  Use them wisely.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

 

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Respect

Hey All -- another weekend done, another week about to get under way!

One obstacle we sometimes face as beta males is lack of respect.  We are often confronted by those who enjoy hearing the sound of their own voices, expect those around them to kowtow to their superiority, and seriously believe that pushing others around, with immunity and impunity, is their divine right.  It's not only frustrating, it's dangerous - if you're not careful, all of the "just ignore them;" "it's the way they are;" and "don't take it personally;" rhetoric will serves to give these people a protective shield against any consequences.

There are always ways to deal with them -- here are some:

(1) Emotional Discipline:  never lose your cool.  People like this live to make other people upset.  It's their point system, their merit badges, and their "likes."  Do NOT, under any circumstances, give them an easy win.  The Armor around your Heart should be at maximum srength, your frustration should be held in check, and your composure should be will within reach.

(2) Short Reaction Time:  do not reflect on whatever bruises they left for more than five minutes.  Anything beyond that stops being their doing, and starts becoming yours.  Don't do their job for them.

(3) Preparation:  Decide that next time they choose to reach in, you will handle them with respect, but firmness.  Choose what you will allow, and what you won't.

(4) Boundaries:  Explain to them that their actions are not acceptable, and if they choose to deal with you, they'll simply have to stop them.

(5) Consequences:  This is where it can get tricky.

   (A)  Authority - do not engage in any action that contravenes the legitimate authority you have over you unless absolutely necessary.  And it can only be absolutely necessary if you first notify that authority of what is happening.

   (B)  Response of Authority - if they act, and resolve the issue, don't aggravate it further.  If they do not act, then and only then can you take action, because you now have a record of the problem.

   (C)  Position of Strength - if the next incident happens, remind them that the authorities know about them, that they are not the authorities, no matter how much they act like it, and that nothing they do will be tolerated.

  (D)  Attack Mode - remind them of their weaknesses.  Their defeats.  Their mistakes.  Their shortcomings.  Don't get distracted when they try to bring up yours, and don't let them intimidate you.  At that point, they've run out of free passes.

  (E)  Preparation for Future Confrontations - now that you know how they are when it gets real, you'll be even better prepared for them next time.  Unless they've actually shown enough cowardice to back down.

 This list is, of course, not exclusive, and doesn't apply to any and all situations.  However, it's a much more civilized and controlled method of responding to disrespect in most settings. 

DISCLAIMER:  This blog does not condone violence of any kind.  Let someone else handle that.  Of course, measures must be taken to defend yourself from imminent harm, but striking out in violence solves nothing.  We are not savages or neandrathals.  And yes, I'll say it once more, we are not ruled by the alphaganda, and we do not live in a comic book.  Let the animals behave like animals.  Don't be one.