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Sunday, November 16, 2014

How To Handle Stress

(1).  Reprogram Your Anticipated Reactions.

The reason why we sometimes get annoyed, irritated, aggravated, or pissed off at certain things, or people, is because we've been programmed to react that way.  Like cause and effect, we almost force ourselves to say "aw s--t I hate this" automatically in response to certain stimuli.  It's not that different from being hypnotized - we react to buzzwords without even thinking about it

If we unscrew the top of our heads and re wire our brains, we can fix this.  Don't assume it's going to be unpleasant.

(2).  Get perspective.

When we think small, little things can appear life-altering.  When we think big, little things are not unimportant, and not meaningless, but they're still little things.  Deal with them accordingly.

(3).  Make yourself relax.

Work out.  Run.  Meditate.  Anything you can to make yourself chill the hell out.  Twisted, worried, and copeless is no way to live.  AND IF YOU ARE LIVING THIS WAY, YOU EVENTUALLY WON'T.  

You owe it to everyone who comes into contact with you, and you owe it even more to yourself.  If you don't relax, life for you will be a sad, sad existence.  

(4).  Laugh.

Learn some jokes.  YouTube some videos.  Hang out with really funny people.  Lighten up!  Life's not perfect, but it's not so terrible either.

(5).  The Obvious.

If you haven't already done so, get rid of those who make your life unpleasant and replace them with those who don't.  At this point, it should be a no-brainer.

Enjoy!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Changing

Hey all - time to continue the upward trend.

The real theme of this blog is change.  For us betas to advance, to be redeemed, and to become self-actualized, we must obviously change things.  The way we think, the way we act, the way we choose who gets cast in the movie we call our life, who stays in it, and who leaves.

Sometimes it's scary.  You're set in your ways for some time, and then you start doing things a whole new way, and that takes adjustment.

Sometimes it comes at a price.  Others might not be happy with your changes and try to guilt you back into being who they wish you were.  

Sometimes it feels uncomfortable.  Maybe staying the same is easier, even if it's wrong.

Sometimes it's needed.  You can't reach the heavens unless you ascend from the launching pad.

Sometimes it's beautiful.  Others might be accepting, if not impressed, with your changes.

Sometimes it's perfect.  You might just be "changing" into who you were always truly were.

Ya know, I haven't been seeing a lot of responses lately.  A few weeks ago, random person joked about not being a beta male to me and it took me by surprise!  I'm glad it's being read by somebody, but I'd like to hear that beta males struggling with themselves might have read something good in my weekly endeavors.

Any encouraging or helpful comments are encouraged, and those that are neither, or use sexist terms, will be deleted.


Sunday, October 26, 2014

Removal and Replacement

Yes, I'm getting a little repetitious.  Yes, I've written ad nauseum about bouncing, ejecting, removing, and extricating the wrong people from your surroundings.  And yes, I've sung the praises of including the right people and keeping them.  In ideal situations, those two decisions go hand in hand.  

Mind if I explain why?

(1).  The less time you spend around people who aren't good to you, or for you, the less reason you have to get stuck in a rut of anger, resentment, grudges, and unresolved issues.  
(2).  The more time you spend around people who love you, listen to you, accept you for who you are, respect you, and, oh yeah, agree with you, more often than not, the more reason you have to be positive, pro-active, motivated, and genuinely happy.
(3).  When you're on that higher plane, it's a hell of a lot easier to be BOLD and a no-brainer to be BULLETPROOF.  When you have that going for you, nothing, not even the most disparaging or abrasive comment any alphole or femhole can spew, can do any damage.  

Don't get the wrong idea, you don't need other people to MAKE you Bold and Bulletproof.  That's entirely your doing.  But to stay that way, you need to be VERY selective as to who's in your supporting cast.  It truly does effect your attitude and performance.

Ummm Daaaaave?  IIIIIII hang out with TONS of people who are different from me.  It doesn't matter to meeee, I'm a cool kid!

Should I be impressed?  Should I try to copy you?  Am I less than you?  No.
And even if all these people are "different from" you, if those differences are not the kind that are still acceptable, you wouldn't give them the time of day.  That's basic sociology, nothing more and nothing less.  Let's not play Mother Teresa, please.

And those differences only work if they help you, enlighten you, and maybe entertain you, and not if they annoy the holy hell out of you, and not if they leave you feeling hopelessly inadequate.  There is no glory in being a martyr and selecting these people only because they're different.  That's tokenism, and it's a whole other issue.

You need people who respect you, not those who tolerate you.  There is a HUGE difference, and once we learn self-respect, we need better than mere tolerance.  We deserve a whole lot better than that.

So that's my message this week.  Feel free to respond anytime!


Saturday, October 25, 2014

A Conversation With The Inner Child

UIC:  We're really doing this again?
ME:  Oh yes indeed.  As long as these knees and ankles permit us, we're doing this!

IC:  But it's so colllllld!
ME:   Good, we'll go faster.

IC:  But it's so farrrrr!
ME:  Yeah.  That's why it's not the NYC 5K.  Or the NYC Fun Run.

IC:  Can we walk now?  All those other people are walking!
ME:  I see them too.  Unlike us, they'll never do this again.  So no, we're not walking.

IC:  But it hurrrrts!
ME:  No kidding.  Move.

IC:  Isn't this far enough?
ME:  Who do I look like, Papa Smurf?  And NO IT ISN'T!

IC:  Wowwww, that feels good!
ME:  For once we agree.

Who would you listen to?

#tcsnycmarathon #boldbetas


Sunday, October 19, 2014

Letting Them In

Hey All!  Time to re-visit an older issue.

I've written volumes about rejecting and dismissing those who aren't right for you.  Now let's concentrate on those who are right for you.

(1).  LISTEN to them.  Act like what they say matters.  And if you forget something they said, have the good grace to double check it!

(2).  COOPERATE with them.  If they're really the right ones for you, they might give you some constructive criticism.  There is a HUGE difference between that and bullying, beyessing, and I'm-just-saying, and you should be able to tell the difference at this point.  If they give you some of that, think about it before you get defensive.  Better yet, don't be afraid to return the constructive criticism when it's needed.

(3). ACKNOWLEDGE them.  Do a few nice things "just because."  Surprise them with something you know they like. Tell them, and show them, that they mean a great deal to you.

Now many of you may not have that someone yet.  If you choose, you can remain alone, that's not exactly a bad thing.  But you can also decide that you do want to let someone into your life for the right reasons.  I'm not here to give you dating advice like the players and posers, that information is available from other sources.  If you're being yourself and that doesn't match with someone else, let them go.  If you're with someone who doesn't fit with you, show them the door.  But if you're sincere about the right one, the meeting will be arranged.  

That's kid stuff.  The trick is it make it that good for the long term.

Ya dig?


Thursday, September 25, 2014

A New Chapter

Hi All.  To those who celebrate, a very happy and sweet new year!

In the religion I was raised with, this time of year is called the Ten Days of Awe.  Our fate is said to be inscribed in the Book of Life, and then sealed at the conclusion of this period.  Traditionally, this is a time to behave somewhat more righteously than you had previously.

Only problem is, when those Ten Days are up, what then?

Secret for ya, peeps.  The Book of Life is ALWAYS open, every day and night of the year.  There is NEVER a wrong time to make a change for the better.  We are not governed by a diety who tracks all of our screw ups, waits until we've forgotten about them, and says "look what yooooou did!  Look what YOOOOOOOU did!"

(some people still do that - and if you tolerate them, that's a mistake)

You want to make a change?  To start winning more than you lose?  To show the world that you're somebody and deserve respect?  Don't wait.  And don't assume that you've missed some arbitrary deadline, because that's impossible.

And those alpholes?  And the coooool kids?  Don't worry - "look what yoooooou did" is the ONLY.  Card.  They.  Have.  To.  Play.  Keep being Bold and Bulletproof, and they'll have NOTHING to say.  And that's the best you'll get from them!

Today's a great day for a new start, but it can be done at ANY time.  I know I'n on my way.  How about you?

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.


Sunday, September 7, 2014

Changing The Mood, But Not Losing Focus

Hey All!  Just watched the Jets start their season at 1-0.  

I'm a little surprised that I haven't posted in a month, but I consider it a vacation.  Sometimes that's needed.  In my case, a little time away from the blog was needed to "change the mood."

This blog is designed to be a motivating force for men and boys who lack confidence.  In order to get over that hump, a manageable amount of anger is needed to make lasting changes.  After all, nobody becomes bold or bulletproof by doing nothing.  I am encouraging my audience to be just angry enough to stop allowing themselves to be hurt, and to build the kind of life and self that they choose to have, rather than what others foist on them.

But for next while, I'd like to focus on what comes after we achieve what those powerful bursts of anger brought us - happiness.

As beta males, we are geared towards situations where it is not necessary to keep our guard up. We crave people and places that make us feel comfortable.  We yearn for those who accept us and respect us.  For those of you out there who doubt that a reward like this exists, I can tell you for a fact that it most certainly does.  You most certainly can find love and respect.  

When you find it, you cherish it.  You express that time-honored beta tradition of gratitude.  You act like it matters.  And provided you get the same joy out of it, you make them happy too.

Even after that, you're still not done.

In every comic book story and action movie that boys digest, the hero wins the prize and rides off into the sunset.  In real life, that sunset doesn't show up for many years after that single victory, and the closing credits don't roll until the carving on your headstone is completed.

This is not minimizing the prize that's been won, of course.  But you don't win a lifetime a leisure and indulgence from just one victory.  There are more prizes to be taken, and more battles to be won!  

So how do we maintain that joy of winning while still remaining vigilant?  Simple discipline.  Let the fact that you proved something to yourself add a little something extra to all your usual tasks.  A little zip, if you will.  It's not such drudgery when you've got happiness behind you.  Don't let it interfere with the present moment, instead let it make the present moment more enjoyable.

Don't assume that it's your last great act.  Add to it.  Stack it.  Expand it.  Pimp it.  Trick it.  Always look to improve it somehow.  That way it'll continue to be enjoyable and never get stale.

In other words, after you win the prize, take care of it.  Very good care.  You'll be proud of it.

And now, the first full week of September!

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.