Hello All! Watching my Jets lose to the Patriots, no shock there.
Yesterday, two NYPD police officers were murdered, no, assassinated. Someone truly evil thought that he could earn payback for the decisions of grand juries in St. Louis County, Missouri, and Richmond County, New York, to not indict officers with homicide charges by somehow taking justice into his own hands.
A few days before that, a major motion picture studio cancels the release of a simple-minded bro-comedy because the government of another country employed hackers to wreak havoc on its computer network.
Where have we gone wrong?!!?!?!?
Who says that the way to correct society's wrongs are to swing the pendulum the other way as hard as possible? Exactly what problems did that approach ever solve?!?!?
And what makes us think that just giving in to someone who tries to bully us, because they "can kick our ass," is the right thing to do?
(1) CONCEDING, ABDICATING, AND APPEASING SOMEONE WITH NO AUTHORITY OVER YOU WHATSOEVER IS A HUGE MISTAKE. It gives them carte blanche to do it over and over again, because they've been shown that no consequences will result. This can, of course, be corrected later, but that first instance of doing so is very costly. They have no say in what a studio in our country can or cannot produce.
(2) RESORTING TO BRUTE FORCE, OTHER THAN IN SELF-DEFENSE, IS NEVER AN ANSWER TO SOCIETY'S ILLS. We do not live in a comic book, and we are not governed by mob rule. Reform police procedure if you must, enact new laws and repeal old ones if you're so inclined. NONE OF THIS "OCCUPY," NEO-HIPPIE, PSEUDO-COUNTERCULTURE, ISIS-LOVING, ANARCHIST WAY OF THINKING WILL SOLVE ANYTHING.
As beta males, we encounter very similar choices in our quest for self-fulfillment. Do we just do as we're told, or do we make a difference? Do we think about realistic solutions for problems that plague us, or do we turn into animals?
It doesn't take an expert to see the right decision. It shouldn't anyway.
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.
I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Morning, all! Little chilly now, in the winter of our discontent!
I've never loved housework, or any type of cleaning or organizing. But if I don't do it, or hire someone to do it for me, my home will stay a mess. It's the same way with our minds.
Sometimes we have too much clutter on the brain. We may have friends who can say that they're "over it," and that nothing bothers them, but sometimes it does still bother us. There may be completely valid reasons why it's still there, but if it's getting in the way of the here and now, you have to get rid of it.
(1). The indirect approach. Do what my relatives do whenever they're losing an argument with me - change the subject! Whenever your thoughts start focusing on the garbage you don't need, IMMEDIATELY start thinking about something more pleasant, more familiar, and more comforting. With enough practice, all of that will disappear.
(2). The direct approach. Confront whatever or whoever is giving you agita and clear the air. It doesn't have to be an argument or a fight. All you have to do is calmly or plainly state what's bothering you and why you don't want to tolerate any longer.
Either option you choose is fine with me. What's NOT fine is doing absolutely nothing about it. This is what keeps you stuck, and it sends a signal to every alphole near you to go on a feeding frenzy. Stop letting it happen.
Be good, all!
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Hey all, about that time!
And while we're on the subject, ever wonder where it goes? And why it gets that much faster the older we get?
And how does everything we want to do get postponed indefinitely because of all the mundane crap that gets in the way?
Trust me, I'm no stranger to that mess. And once I made the costly error of admitting my lack of time to a critic, I had to listen to him lecturing me about it for an hour, no joke. Yeahhhh, your friend was not happy about that one, but that's another story.
How do deal?
(1). Perform An Audit.
No appointment needed for this one. Just map out the following:
(A). What MUST be done RIGHT NOW.
(B). What MUST be done before you go to sleep tonight.
(C). What CAN be done today, but can wait.
(D). What CANNOT be done today. This means a physical impossibility, and not an unwillingness to deal with a pain in the ass.
(2). Perform an Upgrade.
As soon as you finish everything in Categories A and B, transfer everything in Category C into those categories.
The key is remaining pro-active, because when our to-do list is empty, we get lazy and indolent. As beta males, this is our Achilles' heel. If we are too passive, laid back, and disengaged, we abdicate our power to control our own lives. We become tools and punching bags. We become slaves to duty, never able to crawl out from under a mountain of procrastination. We become crushed by stress and worry, never able to relax and enjoy life.
I don't know about you, but that feels like the opposite of advancement to me. That feels like inviting the alpholes to have their way with you, because you're stuck and they're not.
Don't abdicate control. Stay on top of it, whatever it is! Make your own schedule, blaze your own trail, and NEVER let them trap you into being "too busy!"
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.
I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.
Friday, November 28, 2014
I spent Thanksgiving with my parents, drank with an old friend, and shared the joy with someone on my return.
I experienced an awakening of sorts - or more like a gentle reminder of what should already be known.
(1). You don't need anyone's permission to relax.
If we're self-actualized, we have responsibilities. If we have responsibilities, we need to think about them. But not all the time! We can't resolve issues with people who are not even in the room.
Give it a rest sometimes. Pretend your brain has the same Settings app that the iPhone does and turn the wifi off when there's nothing you can do at the moment.
To continue with the previous post, you can also disable the annoyances and daydreams that pop up on your internal newsfeed. For real, it works! It really is possible to temporarily acknowledge that something is unpleasant or irritating without losing your temper. The amount of tolerance is up to you, since nobody's a saint. But not every annoyance requires attack mode. Some of them you can simply deal with at no cost, without getting angry, and ruining your own time. You really can deal with them calmly, or maybe even not deal with them.
(2). The better you focus, the less you worry.
Part of the reason we get sleepless nights is that we need to be more productive when we're awake. There's less of a reason to worry when you take care of things sooner rather than later.
(3). You really can be honest with people and still be nice.
Decades ago, I knew people who delighted in insulting and degrading people, and always said "I'm only being honest" as a permanent get-out-of-jail card. It still amazes me how people like this are able to recruit so many followers, but they still did.
I would never advocate their brand of "honesty," but there are times when fawning over some Emperor's new clothes is just as bad as doing their deeds. There are far too many people who have no concept of respecting others, but have still not received consequences for their actions. I have a name for those people, and you all know what that is. :)
Like I said above, not every annoyance is a fight. But when dealing with people who just never learned how to behave, there's nothing wrong with patiently educating them, as someone else failed to, what behavior is more acceptable. You don't need to be confrontational. You just need to explain why the behavior is not acceptable, and why it needs to change.
This is where some of my critics attack me - they think might makes right, and that anyone who doesn't follow their approach is weak or effeminate. If I lived in a comic book/RPG fantasy world, and was taught that physical intimidation is the only way to deal with people, I'd agree. But I can't. Might makes right can be seen all over the news and YouTube, and I'm not impressed.
We are Bold and Bulletproof, but we're still Betas. We don't have hair trigger tempers. We don't need to impress people every minute. We just need to amaze ourselves, that's all.
With the right amount of respect, it's perfectly ok to be tactfully honest with others. There is no need to assume that every situation is the worst case scenario. Later posts will deal with situations that escalate. But since we're not trapped in a Call Of Duty video game, the likelihood of that happening is rather slim. Sometimes a polite explanation really does work wonders.
I consider the above to be revelations because, although they arise out of common sense, they're very easy to forget. I remembered them, and I'm thankful.
Sunday, November 16, 2014
(1). Reprogram Your Anticipated Reactions.
The reason why we sometimes get annoyed, irritated, aggravated, or pissed off at certain things, or people, is because we've been programmed to react that way. Like cause and effect, we almost force ourselves to say "aw s--t I hate this" automatically in response to certain stimuli. It's not that different from being hypnotized - we react to buzzwords without even thinking about it
If we unscrew the top of our heads and re wire our brains, we can fix this. Don't assume it's going to be unpleasant.
(2). Get perspective.
When we think small, little things can appear life-altering. When we think big, little things are not unimportant, and not meaningless, but they're still little things. Deal with them accordingly.
(3). Make yourself relax.
Work out. Run. Meditate. Anything you can to make yourself chill the hell out. Twisted, worried, and copeless is no way to live. AND IF YOU ARE LIVING THIS WAY, YOU EVENTUALLY WON'T.
You owe it to everyone who comes into contact with you, and you owe it even more to yourself. If you don't relax, life for you will be a sad, sad existence.
Learn some jokes. YouTube some videos. Hang out with really funny people. Lighten up! Life's not perfect, but it's not so terrible either.
(5). The Obvious.
If you haven't already done so, get rid of those who make your life unpleasant and replace them with those who don't. At this point, it should be a no-brainer.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Hey all - time to continue the upward trend.
The real theme of this blog is change. For us betas to advance, to be redeemed, and to become self-actualized, we must obviously change things. The way we think, the way we act, the way we choose who gets cast in the movie we call our life, who stays in it, and who leaves.
Sometimes it's scary. You're set in your ways for some time, and then you start doing things a whole new way, and that takes adjustment.
Sometimes it comes at a price. Others might not be happy with your changes and try to guilt you back into being who they wish you were.
Sometimes it feels uncomfortable. Maybe staying the same is easier, even if it's wrong.
Sometimes it's needed. You can't reach the heavens unless you ascend from the launching pad.
Sometimes it's beautiful. Others might be accepting, if not impressed, with your changes.
Sometimes it's perfect. You might just be "changing" into who you were always truly were.
Ya know, I haven't been seeing a lot of responses lately. A few weeks ago, random person joked about not being a beta male to me and it took me by surprise! I'm glad it's being read by somebody, but I'd like to hear that beta males struggling with themselves might have read something good in my weekly endeavors.
Any encouraging or helpful comments are encouraged, and those that are neither, or use sexist terms, will be deleted.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Yes, I'm getting a little repetitious. Yes, I've written ad nauseum about bouncing, ejecting, removing, and extricating the wrong people from your surroundings. And yes, I've sung the praises of including the right people and keeping them. In ideal situations, those two decisions go hand in hand.
Mind if I explain why?
(1). The less time you spend around people who aren't good to you, or for you, the less reason you have to get stuck in a rut of anger, resentment, grudges, and unresolved issues.
(2). The more time you spend around people who love you, listen to you, accept you for who you are, respect you, and, oh yeah, agree with you, more often than not, the more reason you have to be positive, pro-active, motivated, and genuinely happy.
(3). When you're on that higher plane, it's a hell of a lot easier to be BOLD and a no-brainer to be BULLETPROOF. When you have that going for you, nothing, not even the most disparaging or abrasive comment any alphole or femhole can spew, can do any damage.
Don't get the wrong idea, you don't need other people to MAKE you Bold and Bulletproof. That's entirely your doing. But to stay that way, you need to be VERY selective as to who's in your supporting cast. It truly does effect your attitude and performance.
Ummm Daaaaave? IIIIIII hang out with TONS of people who are different from me. It doesn't matter to meeee, I'm a cool kid!
Should I be impressed? Should I try to copy you? Am I less than you? No.
And even if all these people are "different from" you, if those differences are not the kind that are still acceptable, you wouldn't give them the time of day. That's basic sociology, nothing more and nothing less. Let's not play Mother Teresa, please.
And those differences only work if they help you, enlighten you, and maybe entertain you, and not if they annoy the holy hell out of you, and not if they leave you feeling hopelessly inadequate. There is no glory in being a martyr and selecting these people only because they're different. That's tokenism, and it's a whole other issue.
You need people who respect you, not those who tolerate you. There is a HUGE difference, and once we learn self-respect, we need better than mere tolerance. We deserve a whole lot better than that.
So that's my message this week. Feel free to respond anytime!