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Sunday, September 7, 2014

Changing The Mood, But Not Losing Focus

Hey All!  Just watched the Jets start their season at 1-0.  

I'm a little surprised that I haven't posted in a month, but I consider it a vacation.  Sometimes that's needed.  In my case, a little time away from the blog was needed to "change the mood."

This blog is designed to be a motivating force for men and boys who lack confidence.  In order to get over that hump, a manageable amount of anger is needed to make lasting changes.  After all, nobody becomes bold or bulletproof by doing nothing.  I am encouraging my audience to be just angry enough to stop allowing themselves to be hurt, and to build the kind of life and self that they choose to have, rather than what others foist on them.

But for next while, I'd like to focus on what comes after we achieve what those powerful bursts of anger brought us - happiness.

As beta males, we are geared towards situations where it is not necessary to keep our guard up. We crave people and places that make us feel comfortable.  We yearn for those who accept us and respect us.  For those of you out there who doubt that a reward like this exists, I can tell you for a fact that it most certainly does.  You most certainly can find love and respect.  

When you find it, you cherish it.  You express that time-honored beta tradition of gratitude.  You act like it matters.  And provided you get the same joy out of it, you make them happy too.

Even after that, you're still not done.

In every comic book story and action movie that boys digest, the hero wins the prize and rides off into the sunset.  In real life, that sunset doesn't show up for many years after that single victory, and the closing credits don't roll until the carving on your headstone is completed.

This is not minimizing the prize that's been won, of course.  But you don't win a lifetime a leisure and indulgence from just one victory.  There are more prizes to be taken, and more battles to be won!  

So how do we maintain that joy of winning while still remaining vigilant?  Simple discipline.  Let the fact that you proved something to yourself add a little something extra to all your usual tasks.  A little zip, if you will.  It's not such drudgery when you've got happiness behind you.  Don't let it interfere with the present moment, instead let it make the present moment more enjoyable.

Don't assume that it's your last great act.  Add to it.  Stack it.  Expand it.  Pimp it.  Trick it.  Always look to improve it somehow.  That way it'll continue to be enjoyable and never get stale.

In other words, after you win the prize, take care of it.  Very good care.  You'll be proud of it.

And now, the first full week of September!

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

What's The Opposite of an Alphole, Anyway?

Hey All!  End of a niiiice summer weekend, work tomorrow, and I think we're ready.

When I first coined the term "alphole," people turned their offense-o-meters way up and let your buddy David hear it loud and clear.  How I dare I use such a term?  How dare I "generalize," even if these people are real?  How dare I say the emperor is wearing no clothes when it's not "cool" to say it?

I'm ashamed to admit I haven't been posting consistently this summer, but I can assure you I wasn't caving in or kowtowing to such groupthink.  We Bold Betas are destined to face alpholes no matter what we do, and we must be prepared to protect ourselves against their misdeeds, provided we do not stoop to their level and follow the alphaganda.

But I'd like to speak about another type of person we might come across - and this person is the absolute 180-degree opposite of an alphole.  

Many of you reading this might not have someone in your life who fits this description.  There are ways to find them, and this may require you to be somewhat selective.  It means you have to set certain criteria as to who you invite into your life, and you have to reject those who don't meet them for the sake of self-preservation.  That way, it's impossible to be anyone else's follower or lackey.

Take away all those who don't make the cut, and who do you have?  People who get you.  People who understand you.  People who accept you as you are.  People who genuinely like you and care about you.  And more importantly, you'll feel exactly the same way about them.

And once you make that connection, you'll want to make them just as happy as they've made you.  This will feel effortless.  This will feel right.  And this will make you feel even more Bold and Bulletproof than you already feel, because you'll be sharing your strength with another.  Not sacrificing your own self worth to someone else, and not commandeering someone who's nobody on their own.  No, you're making each other better.

So what's the opposite of an alphole?  An S.Y.L.  Someone You Love.

Ain't that a pip.  I guess this blog isn't always about disparaging those who make our lives difficult and unpleasant.  Make no mistake, the alpholes still don't get away with it.  But one good way to stay Bold and Bulletproof is to replace the alpholes in our lives with as many SYL's as we can find.

There's no limit to the places you'll go with them!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Creed

Hey All.

A critic told me that my viewpoints in (a) agreeing with the Hobby Lobby decision and (b) supporting Israel in its war with Hamas and (c) strengthening the border were "not very beta."  

I'm not sure how to take that - should I immediately alter my position to be more to his liking?  Should I kowtow to his viewpoint?  Should I be one of those people who seek applause for being neutral just to look cool?

Nope.  Not exactly.  Doubt it.

You see, this blog is for the ADVANCEMENT of Beta Males, not the persistence of a stereotype.  This blog promotes self-actualization, which means, among other things, freedom and self-expression.  It encourages its readers to stop blindly following the crowd and to be individuals.  It encourages Beta Males to find themselves and embrace their true identities, and in doing so, make their own indelible marks on this world.

Unlike our dear friends, the alpholes, this is done without threatening or judging those who lack what we have.  No action is taken to humiliate anyone else, or to deride that which they hold dear.  It's just acting like you matter.

If they reach a different conclusion because they've set their offense-o-meter too wide, that's their problem, and not ours.  Part of that offense might be because the notion of a Beta Male becoming Bold, standing out from the crowd, and succeeding, is just intolerable to them.

Tough.  On.  Them.  They don't make the rules.

Of course, one downfall of this process is the possibility that some of these folks will need to be "let go from the firm."  If you're a good guy, looking to do the right thing, that's tough to do.  But if they are troubled by the transformation you make, so much that they try to convince you and everyone around you that you're wrong, misguided, or stupid, then they've outlived their welcome.  They don't deserve to be in your circle.

And by the way, that doesn't mean that all my readers should have the same political philosophy that I do.  You chart your own path, and that's fine with me.  Just as long as you're Bold and Bulletproof, you can take any stand you feel.  PROVIDED that the respect I give is RETURNED, as a quid pro quo, we'll get along fine.

As a tie-in to another great passion I have in life, this year, I'm running the NYC Marathon on behalf of all Bold Betas.  The guys who are ready to come out of their shells.  Who want to step outside the comfort zone.  Who want to be more in life than someone else's second banana.  

And I dare all of my critics to do the same!

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.


Sunday, July 20, 2014

Nothing Can Stop Self-Love

Hey All - Another Sunday night is upon us.

We're living in extreme times, yet again.  Israel, our only ally in the Middle East, is demonstrating that the best, and sometimes only, defense is a strong offense.  And as the liberal media has always done, it has taken Israel to task for the very thought of defending itself.  

This is not unlike the response school administrators traditionally give to bullying incidents.  The bully rarely, if ever, reveives consequences for their actions, but if a bullying victim retaliates, they are condemned, they are disarmed, they are showered with hearts and flowers and rainbows and told to be good little angels while the bully laughs as their enablement continues.

Applying this way of thinking to a sovereign nation makes no sense to me. As even Secretary Kerry stated today, no country should be expected to just sit there when it is attacked.  

My thought tells me that the world is trying to use Israel's status against it.  Israel is also known as the Holy Land, since it is home to most of the events in the Bible.  It appears that this designation leads to the assumption that Israel must be so charitable and generous as to turn the other cheek whenever threatened.  In a way, they are being mocked for being the Holy Land, and for not being like every other country.

We live in a world where people criticize much more quickly than they compliment.  It would be a much nicer world if the opposite were true, but it isn't. 

The only way to deal with this fact, other than preparing ourselves with our own snappy comebacks, is to truly love ourselves.  To know that our strengths are what put us on the map, and not what leave us exposed.  To know that we must never apologize for who we are.  To know that nobody's opinion of us is more important than that of the one person you see in the mirror.  

If Israel was so touchy, apologetic, and dependent on the world's approval that it stopped its defenses, it would have been conquered and renamed a long time ago.  If every bullying victim obeyed the directives of school administrators, and allowed their bullies to have their way with them, the suicide rate and the mental hospital occupancy would both skyrocket.  If we all did away with our goals, dreams, and identity because someone else just has to run their mouths, there would be no point to life itself.

Beta males are sometimes too willing to appease critics and apologize for being themselves.  Someone recently pointed out to me that the notion of not being ruled by criticism, and refusing to apologize for oneself, is the way of the alpha male, and not the beta male.  This may be true, but I believe that if betas become self-actualized, and make themselves bold and bulletproof, this changes.  I encourage beta males to look to Israel's example.  Nobody wants them to defend themselves, because they are expected to be more righteous than other countries, but they defend themselves no matter what.  Nobody wants beta males to be assertive, brave, or courageous because we are expected to be more compassionate and sensitive than other men.  By the same token, we can make this compassion and sensitivity our strengths by choosing to love ourselves more than we can hate anyone.  When we believe in ourselves that much, and are willing to protect ourselves the way Israel protects its citizens, we win.  And we win by a landslide.

By the same token, I hope Israel wins this conflict by a landslide.  I also hope the moderate Palestinians that do not view Hamas as martyrs or heroes have the courage to speak out and are safe from harm.  I also hope that those of us who crumble at criticism and suffer from exposure are able to set up out very own Iron Domes and shoot thoss rockets out of the sky.  

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.

PS - Facebook offers all of us our very own Iron Dome mechanisms.  I've had to use a few of them, and I encourage you to do the same.





Sunday, July 13, 2014

Going Back In Time, and Getting Back In Time

Hey All!  

This weekend, I went to Oswego, New York for a mini-college reunion.  This was for members of Alpha Phi Omega, a national service organization founded on the principles of Scouting and dedicated to community service.

This was more than just a reunion for me.  It was revisiting a place where I learned lessons that shaped the way I deal with people.

You see, this group planned many service projects for the campus and surrounding community that raised funds and awareness for good causes.  Having previously been a Scout, it seemed only natural that I join in these worthy endeavors.

However, things were sometimes not so worthy.  Within this group was a small cadre that insisted on maintaining control of the organization's direction.  And this subgroup had a nasty habit of bullying, excluding, and personally attacking those  who disagreed with them.  Little by little, their tactics infected the group until it became rife with gossip, slander, and resentment.  

Back then, my response was to take a stand against these practices.  I demanded that they cease and desist.  I rushed to the defense of those who had been maligned.  I even pushed to have this group's constitution amended to prohibit this unacceptable behavior.  

At this point in my life, I had not yet learned the word "backlash."  It would be taught to me the hard way.

Despite my best efforts, I could not eradicate this scourge from the organization that I felt needed repurification.  Although the numbers to back me up were most likely there, the support was not.  The passion, the strength, and the dedication that I brought to my desire to make the chapter better was unfortunately met with defeat.

Still, there were many victories I achieved in this campaign.  Much the way that a small cadre was able to wield so much power in the chapter, a small but loyal group of trusted friends surrounded me.  While there may have been adversaries who thought nothing of cutting me down, there were also allies who thought everything of me, and I of them.  They reminded me that there was still a goodness in our chapter underneath all the bickering and pettiness.  They showed me that respect could still be earned.  And they reminded me that committing myself to the true purposes of our organization was laudable, no matter what obstacles or roadblocks lay ahead.

Today, the same drive to awaken good men and to prevent them from falling under the evil influence is alive and well.  But rather than fueling impassioned speeches met with rolling eyes and whispered derision, it fuels this very blog. The reason I was defeated 20+ years ago was because I thought I could convince people who behaved in alpholish behavior to stop or leave.  This was not possible.  Now I make it my business to empower those who bear the brunt of alpholish behavior to rise above it and against it.  To make them strong enough to prevent any chink in their armor that an alpholish blast could leave.  To make them bold enough to stand up these practices and make themselves heard.  And to be good enough to know that the alpholes don't make the final decision as to their self worth.

Unless we have children at home in our custody and control, we can't teach anyone how to behave.  No matter how obnoxious, hurtful, or unethical they are, it's not our job to convert them into saints and angels.  The only thing we can do in response to this inevitable evil, this consequence of parents who neglected their responsibilities, is to steel ourselves against their full arsenal and to embolden ourselves enough to give the kind of responses that we'd be proud to have quoted later.  A naive and idealistic young man did not understand this, but a mature man who's learned many of life's lessons does!

And so I returned to the very site of those early struggles a new man.  Thankfully, none of my former adversaries were present.  Rather, I spent time with some of the aforementioned close friends and made new friends with former acquaintances.  I explored the campus, transformed significantly over two decades, and experienced the country goodness of quaint neighboring towns.  Not to mention, I ran a good long run through the town and campus as a way of returning victorious to my old stomping grounds.  

So now I return to my usual undertakings, refreshed and replenished, and ready to recommit myself to the Four Pillars and their definitions.  May the lessons of our past likewise serve as road maps for our present and reference for our future.

Night all!

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.





Saturday, July 5, 2014

Against The Empires

Hi All.  Rain cleared up yesterday just in time for fireworks, and my godson was super jazzed for them.  There's something great about watching a kid get that happy over life's everyday joys.

Come to think of it, seeing my godson was honestly the best thing about that barbecue.  But I digress.

This weekend we celebrate Independence Day.  
Besides the fireworks and outdoor cooking, we are reminded that 238 years ago, a fringe political organization got so tired of the atrocities committed by the British Crown against the 13 North American that they were willing to Risk.  Their.  Very.  Lives.  To reject an unjust system and live by their own rules instead.

People forget that the notion of revolting against Britain was an unpopular idea.  It was more comfortable to simply accept life the way it was, as horribly wrong as it was, than to actually make a change for the better.  Not good enough for the patriots though.  They were willing to take the risks that came with scribbling their John Hancocks on that declaration, and they were huge risks.  

That is why we are a free society, but it's also why we're an individualist society and a capitalist society.  We're free to start our own businesses and how successful we are depends in large part on how successful we want to be and how hard we want to work.

This means being a little uncomfortable.  This means not getting things handed to us.  And yes, this means being bold enough to say you have a better idea than "the system."  That's what the Supreme Court recognized in the Hobby Lobby decision, and I agree with it.  No amount of whining over reproductive choice can force a business owner to contravene his or her moral judgment in the name of what is popular.

The central theme of this blog is to remind beta males that they can declare themselves independent from the alphaganda.  They can do what's right for them and not what others conform to doing.  They can re-define how their lives proceed, even if someone else derides or judges their choices, and especially if someone pooh-poohs them for thinking differently.  Given the threat of the caliphate rearing its ugly head, this concept must be reinforced over and over again, until it is defeated.

The Caliphate's goal is similar to the goals that were set by the British Empire, the Nazis, and the Soviet Union.  We cannot allow this goal to be realized.  By the same token, as individuals, we must maintain our own independence, even if it means supporting unpopular ideas or risking negative feedback.  

Don't become subjects of empires ruled by nonsense.  Don't sacrifice your truth just to pander to a crowd.  And NEVER surrender your independence no matter the consequences!

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM INDEPENDENT.




Sunday, June 29, 2014

Evil Empire Arising

Hey All - back in business.  Little let down that Chile lost to Brazil and Greece lost to Costa Rica, but soccer's an unpredictable sport.  

Anyway, the individuals that I still consider a bunch of gangsters apparently want to restructure the Middle East by eliminating the current international boundaries and restoring the Muslim Calphate that ruled for centuries.  This may or may not mean another Cold War, if not WWIII.

As I posted last week, sending troops over there yet again is a mistake.  But before long, this Caliphate will outgrow its anticipated borders.  If it truly does accumulate enough power, it may very well seek another attack against the United States.  

Why do we fear these gangsters so much?  Because they want to wipe away our values and impose their own on us.  Because they want us to dispense with liberty and individualism and force us to conform to one way of living and thinking.  Because they want to impose an all-encompassing law that suppresses critical thinking, dissent, and common sense, for the sake of submission to the will of an angry and punitive supernatural authority, with any and all violations punishable by death.

Unfortunately, they are not the first society to demand such submission from its subjects, or to seek conquest of all realms that have not yet submitted.  The Nazis and the Soviets had very similar goals, and racked up large body counts on order to achieve them .  Thank G-D , they failed.  Will the Caliphate?  It's a scary thought.

What troubles me most, besides the gangsters and the force they use to conquer, are the so-called "moderate" Muslims who profess to be innocent bystanders.  They claim that the gangsters do not speak for all Muslims, but the gangsters are still there.

When I write about alpholes, I hear people's offense-o-meters going off.  I hear that I'm being too judgmental and closed-minded because there are "good alphas" and "bad alphas."  But I don't see how the existence of these "good alphas" immobilizes the alpholes, or mitigates what the alpholes do.  Likewise, the fact that "moderates" exist does not stop the gangsters from building the Caliphate.  Honestly, nothing can.  But it's up to us to block it.

I've urged my readers who are beta males to reject the alphaganda because it does not apply to them.  By the same token, if the gangsters try to expand the Caliphate's territory to this continent, we should put up the same resistance to Sharia law.  It doesn't apply to us.  The notion of using violence to enforce any law, restricting the conduct of either gender, and crushing the life out of any and all non-believers is unacceptable, and we have an unquestioned duty to ourselves to reject it.

G-D willing, those gangsters won't make it past Israel.  But let's be prepared anyway.

DISCLAIMER:  This message is not anti-Muslim.  This is America, you are free to practice whatever religion you choose.  Instead, this message is anti-terrorist.  In theory, there should be no reason to explain the obvious, but in this politically correct world, sometimes it must be done.