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Sunday, November 1, 2015

The Opposition's Weaknesses

Hi All - Halloween is behind us, Thanksgiving may or may not be glossed over, and the Winter Holidays are just around the corner.  So what's on the docket for today?

Often times, people try to intimidate us when we say things that we're proud of or happy about.  If they're toxic enough, they'll try to say that what we like is stupid or useless, and they'll say it in the loudest, longest, and most obnoxious way.  And because they know that we're basically nicer, and are less likely to fight back, they sometimes also will say it in front of a crowd of followers and sycophants, since they need continuous reinforcement through enabling to continue living off this toxicity.

Why they do that is not as important as how to handle it.  However, some insight into their quest to silence you might reveal a few tips and pointers:

(Reason 1)  They're not secure enough to handle someone who thinks differently than they do, and can't share the floor with other voices.  
(Solution 1)   Keep voicing your opinion anyway.  The more they try to silence you, make yourself better, wiser, and more thick-skinned.  No matter how loud they get, they'll be forced to reckon with you.

(Reason 2)  They have weaknesses to protect, and the longer they allow you to talk, they're afraid you'll touch a nerve.
(Solution 2)  Keep it in your back pocket.  Don't hit them over the head out of nowhere with it, that's their game plan, and not ours.  Once they cross a line, which they always do, lock on the target and pull the trigger.  You didn't start that conflict, and they sure as heck asked for it.

(Reason 3)  They have been enabled, spoiled, and protected for so long they don't understand how it feels to be wrong, incorrect, or behind the times.  And it shakes the very foundations upon which they stand.
(Solution 3)  Keep it in lower in your back pocket.  It's not our way to fight arrogance with arrogance.  But whenever they make it a personal attack, yes you can hit them over the head with this.  The very concept of choosing not to say something, even though you can, was obviously never taught to them earlier, so teach them now.  

As I've stated before, the way for us Betas to improve our lives, be happier, and attain greater successes is to be Bold and Bulletproof.  That means not letting people bully us into silence just because they don't know how to respectfully disagree.  That means shoring up our feelings airtight so nothing they say can wound us, stun us, or make us feel ashamed of ourselves.  And yes, when warranted, that means take a shot at them to show them what is acceptable and what is not.

Unfortunately, there are still more alpholes out there than there are of us.  For now.



Sunday, October 25, 2015

A Fresh Start Every Day!

Hey All - about that time.

Part of the reason why we feel stressed, overwhelmed, or hopeless is because we think that every day is the same old thing.  We lament that which we are powerless to change, claim that our exhaustion prohibits us from putting forth the extra effort needed, and throw up our hands in despair.

I'm not going to say, never feel or think this.  We're human, flesh and blood, warts and all.  There is nothing wrong with thinking this, or even verbalizing it if you must.  For goodness' sake, we're not Mother Teresa!

But once you start thinking it, get ready to stop, and stop hard.  If you're not careful, the Two Minute Hate can easily become the Two Hour Quit.  It'll burn you out, sap your strength, and leave you as a shadow of your former self.  Discipline your thoughts to allow yourself no more than one or two paragraphs of "what sucks," and then, stop sucking!

This can be done any time of the day, of course, but the morning is most preferable.  If you can get your head on straight right when you wake up, when you first get in the shower, when you get dressed, and especially when you bust out the door to go out into the world, you're already miles ahead of where you'd otherwise be.  And of course, as a runner, I strongly recommend some kind of vigorous exercise once you wake up, too.  That's the best way to reduce the worry, stress, despair, or anxiety that would otherwise start you off on the wrong foot.

It's obvious that until your problems are resolved, they'll still be there after you've gotten yourself ready for the day.  However, giving yourself that fresh start every morning will allow you to realize that they're not insurmountable. 

As Betas, we sometimes think that "we're made to suffer," like C3PO said in Star Wars Episode IV; A New Hope.  It's cute and funny when a fictional protocol droid says it, but it's horrible when we do.  It's not our lot in life to suffer!  It's NOT our place to cry out to the gods to be saved from injustice.  It is our job to make it better, and make ourselves better!!!  Every day, no coasting, no squatting!



Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Starting Over

Hey All!  This week we celebrate the New Year of the Jewish Calendar.  Makes me realize a few things:

When I was younger, I was one of those kids who actually liked learning about my religion.  I took to it really well, made my relatives proud on my Bar Mitzvah day, and gained a very large understanding of topics not everyone thought about.

The only problem was the swelled head I got.  Even though what I was learning about would be considered positive and wholesome, I became arrogant.  I'd look at everyone else who wasn't as knowledgeable as I was and think that they were beneath me.  I'd get upset at people who didn't love the services as much as I did, and I had nothing kind to say to those who were not religious.  Bottom line, a large part of this religious awakening included a huge amount of anger towards those who did not believe or practice like me.

Fortunately for me, I had parents who were not afraid to hold me in check and refused to tolerate this kind of behavior.  Because of that, this anger eventually stopped.

Today, I am far less religious.  With all due respect to the traditions of my religion and ethnic group, I think I'm a lot better off.  I'm a lot more likely to not notice or care that others' religious beliefs or practices are different from mine, or non-existent.  Compared to how I was, that's a huge giant step.

Believe it or not, but we Betas are very likely to harbor just as much anger at "the rest of them," albeit for very different reasons.  But whether that anger is justified or not, if it can't be used for constructive and pro-active purposes, as opposed to cutting others down and slandering their names, it needs to be held in check.  If you don't have parents around to hold it in check for you, then start doing it yourself.  You'll also be better off in spades.

Nothing you do, perform, or believe is worth it if it makes you intolerant.  That's the alpholes' province, and not ours.  It'll burn you out from the inside.

"Ummmm, Daaaaaave?"  Yup, saw you coming.

The theme of this blog is to be vigilant towards the alpholes, and to inoculate ourselves against the disease of self-loathing that they spew.  It is not be intolerant towards them as people.  By all means, make yourselves Bold and Bulletproof when confronted with what they do, but don't hate them.  Understand that not everyone had our upbringing, as referenced above, and don't try to judge them by our yardstick.  Just keep walking your path, and don't be deterred by those who aren't.



Friday, September 11, 2015

Our Leader?

Hey All -- Hope you're getting ready for Labor Day Weekend!

Next year's presidential election sure is getting a lot of attention.  Moreso than usual due to the celebrity status it's been granted.

By now, the message of this blog should be apparent.  But as it pertains to Donald Trump, a little clarification is needed.

(1)  Our country is getting closer and closer to another civil war.  We have a government that does not meet the needs of its people, and it's ripe for a change.
(2)  We have people who come this country, most of them for the most valid of reasons, but completely disregard the requirements to become citizens.  This issue can't be ignored, minimized, or swept under the rug because the result is to allow laws to have no meaning.
(3)  We have become weak in the eyes of our adversaries and many of our allies.  This needs to change.

On those issues, Trump is 100% right.  We really do need a stronger leader to "Make America Great Again."

HOWEVER, this blog condemns some of the things Mr. Trump does:
(1)  Megyn Kelly is known for asking tough questions.  Whether her choice to ask Trump about his behavior was right or wrong was a judgment call, but his choice to make the issue personal was unacceptable.  His statements on Twitter to or about Megyn Kelly were juvenile, immature, and unpresidential.  He could have simply explained that he is not concerned with political correctness and that he saw nothing wrong with his prior comments, and ended it.
(2)  Jorge Ramos needs to chill out and get off his high horse.  But using hired muscle to escort him out of the room merely because he's being rude and obnoxious was completely unnecessary, as was telling him to "go back to Univision."  He could have simply refused to engage him until he was ready to do so, or simply elected not to answer his questions.  Ejecting him only backfired on him, and enabled Ramos to go on "The Kelly File" and be treated like a welcomed guest out of knowing sympathy.

Yes, he is leading in the polls.  How could he not be?  It's fun to hear somebody say things we won't because we still believe in respect.  It's entertaining to see someone be a goofball - why do you think the jock/bully types get so much attention below the undergraduate level?  And it's actually fun to hear someone be irreverent when everyone else thinks they need to play it close to the vest.

However, none of that means he will be elected, or that he will be a good president if elected!

This blog will reciprocate the pledge Mr. Trump made to support the eventual Republican nominee, and we will support him if he is nominated.  That being said, we do not condone his bullying behavior, his disrespectful tone, and his undignified manner, no matter how funny it was on The Apprentice.  There is absolutely, positively, no reason to be a bully in order to be an effective leader, and anyone who thinks otherwise has insecurities that we can't remove.



Saturday, July 25, 2015

The Old Ways?

Hey All!

A random thought has made its way through my mind in light of the deal our country recently made with Iran:  At what point are old traditions no longer needed?

No matter where you stand in the political theme, there is no doubt that a great enemy to the United States is radical Islam.  And I say radical Islam not only to pinpoint the problem, but to emphasize that the religion, as a whole, is not the enemy.  Those who commit unspeakable acts in the name of that religion, however, most certainly are.

Judaism and Christianity are based on scriptural texts dating back millenia.  Leviticus and Numbers point to several prohibited acts that were punishable by death while the Jews were still wandering in the desert, and were most likely enforced during the days of the Temple when the need arose.  The New Testament is full of rhetoric that casts negative light on all those who lacked faith or acceptance of what was revealed.   It cannot be denied that Both Halves Of The Book either direct, encourage, or enable force against unbelievers that today would be completely unnecessary and unacceptable.

However, from what I've seen in my short life span, most churches and synagogues are welcoming of anyone who walks through their doors.  No clergy has the authority to save or damn any soul in the congregation.  Nobody is turned away for not conforming.  And last but not least, nobody has a death sentence imposed for their nonbelief.

This is because organized religion has had the wisdom to be aware of the time and place in which it exists, and to shape its rhetoric accordingly.  This is because it has realized that creating divisions ad infinitum is simply unworkable, while creating places that are welcoming, acceptable, and friendly better meet the spiritual needs of modern times than those that crash and bash those outside their realms.  Otherwise, their congregants would simply become alienated and leave.

So why is it different with radical Islam?  Why do they cite to portions of the Koran and the Hadith for the justification of the horrible things they do?  Why have they not presented their adherents with mercy and mildness, or joy and rapture?  Why is violence so much more acceptable to them than it could ever be with us?

Apparently there are not very many Bold Betas where they are most needed.  :)

I have often declared that as Betas, we are not subject to the chapters and verses of the alphaganda.  We are not bound by the yoke of its commandments, we are not required to abandon our own idenities in the name of groupthink, and we are never to believe that we are unworthy merely because we do not conform to such ancient and unquestioned standards.

Forgive me for pointing, but it seems to me that Western organized religion had its own alphaganda at one point, and then realized that it was no longer valuable.  Nobody has ever suggested repealing or deleting these ancient texts, but it was clearly a wiser choice to simply not enforce, propagate, or emphasize those portions that would cause more harm than good.  Whether you belong to any one religion, or none at all, we can all agree that softening the approach was a good thing for organized religion in this country.

The question remains, who will challenge the radical alphaganda?  Who will question why such barbaric practices are used to murder and torture others?  Who will reject ISIS, and any government that supports it, and demand that such radical elements be eliminated?  Whether or not our country sends boots on the ground against these enemies once more, it seems to me that this is something that must be handled most effectively within the ranks of the adherents of that faith who are not radicalized, and reject terrorism in all forms.

Let us hope and pray that the radical elements will be neutralized and dismantled from within, as it was once was within our own ranks.

DISCLAIMER:  the above post is not meant to smear, besmirch, insult, or ridicule any organized religion.  Any offense perceived is the responsibility of the reader.


Sunday, July 19, 2015

All In The Timing

Hey All -- hope you're enjoying the summer!

Lately, I haven't been talking about our adversaries.  However, someone once said that it is wise to study the ways of one's adversary.  And so let's review:

One big difference between us and the alpholes is that they choose to be aggressive at times when it is completely unnecessary to do so.  Maybe they do this because "it's the way they're made."  Maybe they had a disapproving parent who was that way too.  Maybe they feel a need to show their crowd that they're tough enough to hang with them.

Here's the world's smallest violin playing "Hearts & Flowers" for them.  NONE OF THAT makes it acceptable to push others around.  NONE OF THAT means that we should permit them to shove us so they'll feel better.  And despite opinion to the contrary, NONE OF THAT makes them winners.

Their downfall is that they're aggressive when they shouldn't be, and they're NOT aggressive when they should be.  To overcome this, we must choose our battles far more wisely than they do.

Ummmm, Daaaaaave?  Who are you to judge these poor, innocent victims, who have every right to be this way?  How do yoooooou know when to be aggressive and when not to be?

I'm glad somebody asked me!  Aggression is obviously tied to the "fight or flight" response that we're all born with.  The difference is that the alpholes think the "fight" switch should be on whenever someone weaker than them is within hearing difference, and that the "flight" switch should be on whenever the consequences of their actions materialize.  But when should these two responses be set?  Here you go:

(1)  When you have a dream or a goal to achieve.
(2)  When distractions get in the way of that dream or goal.
(3)  When you have a job to do.
(4)  When you need to find a job to do, because you don't already have one.
(5)  When your life is in danger.
(6)  When you are faced with imminent bodily harm.  And someone saying they'll cause it does not make it imminent.
(7)  When you have exhausted all good faith efforts to avoid or alleviate conflict, and the proper authorities have not solved the problem already.
(8)  When someone makes a mistake, refuses to accept responsibility for it, and points fingers at everyone else.

(1)  When you think it's funny to disparage someone.
(2)  When someone is irritating or annoying you.  This does not rise to the level where aggression is needed, no matter how unpleasant it is.
(3)  When non-conflict remedies have not yet been utilized.
(4)  When someone's opinion is different from yours.  You can be assertive in expressive your opinion, but beating someone over the head is not necessary.
(5)  When presented with minor inconveniences.
(6)  When you're disappointed with your own shortcomings.  Instead, be gentle with yourself, but learn from whatever errors were made.
(7)  When someone else makes a mistake and they own up to it.

Of course, these lists are by no means exhaustive.  But notice how easily this is demonstrated in outline format?  How it eliminates all ambiguity that the know-it-alls and posers wish they could point out?  I've got someone very close to me to thank for that.

In our daily struggle to remain Bold and Bulletproof, we must embrace the fact that we are different from these other types, and use our differences to our advantages.  This is only one of several ways that this can be done, and others will follow.

See ya all!!!!!

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Play Ball!

Hey All!  

It's All Star Week for Major League Baseball.  So here are some baseball analogies!

The alpholes of the world have somehow been conditioned to believe that getting someone upset is a win.  It's mas puntos.  It's a trip, it's fun, it increases their status.  Or, some might say, it makes them the strikeout kings!

Getting angry and flying off the handle is like a ground ball to them.  Losing control is like having them run into the stands to catch a foul ball for an easy out.  Hitting below the belt and having you admit that you can't take what they said is a third strike down the middle!  Instead, what we need is a base hit between third and short, an RBI, or a home run.  In other words, we have to get hits off their pitching!

Any ballplayer will tell you that you have to be smart at the plate.  Look at where the infield and outfield have moved.  Look where he's aiming the pitch.  Watch for the curve.  If it's going outside, be smart and quick enough to not swing at that pitch.  If it's going inside, don't be scared, but get out of the way.  But if you know that it's your pitch, swing for the fences!

By the same token, accept this reality.  About 90% of what these would-be aces are throwing are bad pitches.  If we're smart enough to avoid swinging at these bad pitches, we walk.  They fail.  They missed a beautiful opportunity to fake us out and win over us.  Guess we're not like those bush-league hitters, huh?

But when we're Bold and Bulletproof, we're ready for them when they throw strikes.  As outlined in the last post, we can foul off those pitches when we capture evidence of their misdeeds and present them to the authorities. That means we are quick enough to get a piece of their pitching and not let them manipulate us.  And if they find a curve or change up, we can see it coming, and we can send it downtown!  That means that we know what they're going to do, we won't fall for it, and we'll use their tactics against them.

And more importantly, we will not let any emotional reactions impair our judgment.  That is the only way they can beat us, and we'll deprive them of that opportunity!  They can't force us to play by their rules if we stick to our rules and resist all distractions.

So that's the jam for now.  Enjoy the All Star Game on Tuesday night!