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Sunday, October 26, 2014

Removal and Replacement

Yes, I'm getting a little repetitious.  Yes, I've written ad nauseum about bouncing, ejecting, removing, and extricating the wrong people from your surroundings.  And yes, I've sung the praises of including the right people and keeping them.  In ideal situations, those two decisions go hand in hand.  

Mind if I explain why?

(1).  The less time you spend around people who aren't good to you, or for you, the less reason you have to get stuck in a rut of anger, resentment, grudges, and unresolved issues.  
(2).  The more time you spend around people who love you, listen to you, accept you for who you are, respect you, and, oh yeah, agree with you, more often than not, the more reason you have to be positive, pro-active, motivated, and genuinely happy.
(3).  When you're on that higher plane, it's a hell of a lot easier to be BOLD and a no-brainer to be BULLETPROOF.  When you have that going for you, nothing, not even the most disparaging or abrasive comment any alphole or femhole can spew, can do any damage.  

Don't get the wrong idea, you don't need other people to MAKE you Bold and Bulletproof.  That's entirely your doing.  But to stay that way, you need to be VERY selective as to who's in your supporting cast.  It truly does effect your attitude and performance.

Ummm Daaaaave?  IIIIIII hang out with TONS of people who are different from me.  It doesn't matter to meeee, I'm a cool kid!

Should I be impressed?  Should I try to copy you?  Am I less than you?  No.
And even if all these people are "different from" you, if those differences are not the kind that are still acceptable, you wouldn't give them the time of day.  That's basic sociology, nothing more and nothing less.  Let's not play Mother Teresa, please.

And those differences only work if they help you, enlighten you, and maybe entertain you, and not if they annoy the holy hell out of you, and not if they leave you feeling hopelessly inadequate.  There is no glory in being a martyr and selecting these people only because they're different.  That's tokenism, and it's a whole other issue.

You need people who respect you, not those who tolerate you.  There is a HUGE difference, and once we learn self-respect, we need better than mere tolerance.  We deserve a whole lot better than that.

So that's my message this week.  Feel free to respond anytime!

Saturday, October 25, 2014

A Conversation With The Inner Child

UIC:  We're really doing this again?
ME:  Oh yes indeed.  As long as these knees and ankles permit us, we're doing this!

IC:  But it's so colllllld!
ME:   Good, we'll go faster.

IC:  But it's so farrrrr!
ME:  Yeah.  That's why it's not the NYC 5K.  Or the NYC Fun Run.

IC:  Can we walk now?  All those other people are walking!
ME:  I see them too.  Unlike us, they'll never do this again.  So no, we're not walking.

IC:  But it hurrrrts!
ME:  No kidding.  Move.

IC:  Isn't this far enough?
ME:  Who do I look like, Papa Smurf?  And NO IT ISN'T!

IC:  Wowwww, that feels good!
ME:  For once we agree.

Who would you listen to?

#tcsnycmarathon #boldbetas

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Letting Them In

Hey All!  Time to re-visit an older issue.

I've written volumes about rejecting and dismissing those who aren't right for you.  Now let's concentrate on those who are right for you.

(1).  LISTEN to them.  Act like what they say matters.  And if you forget something they said, have the good grace to double check it!

(2).  COOPERATE with them.  If they're really the right ones for you, they might give you some constructive criticism.  There is a HUGE difference between that and bullying, beyessing, and I'm-just-saying, and you should be able to tell the difference at this point.  If they give you some of that, think about it before you get defensive.  Better yet, don't be afraid to return the constructive criticism when it's needed.

(3). ACKNOWLEDGE them.  Do a few nice things "just because."  Surprise them with something you know they like. Tell them, and show them, that they mean a great deal to you.

Now many of you may not have that someone yet.  If you choose, you can remain alone, that's not exactly a bad thing.  But you can also decide that you do want to let someone into your life for the right reasons.  I'm not here to give you dating advice like the players and posers, that information is available from other sources.  If you're being yourself and that doesn't match with someone else, let them go.  If you're with someone who doesn't fit with you, show them the door.  But if you're sincere about the right one, the meeting will be arranged.  

That's kid stuff.  The trick is it make it that good for the long term.

Ya dig?

Thursday, September 25, 2014

A New Chapter

Hi All.  To those who celebrate, a very happy and sweet new year!

In the religion I was raised with, this time of year is called the Ten Days of Awe.  Our fate is said to be inscribed in the Book of Life, and then sealed at the conclusion of this period.  Traditionally, this is a time to behave somewhat more righteously than you had previously.

Only problem is, when those Ten Days are up, what then?

Secret for ya, peeps.  The Book of Life is ALWAYS open, every day and night of the year.  There is NEVER a wrong time to make a change for the better.  We are not governed by a diety who tracks all of our screw ups, waits until we've forgotten about them, and says "look what yooooou did!  Look what YOOOOOOOU did!"

(some people still do that - and if you tolerate them, that's a mistake)

You want to make a change?  To start winning more than you lose?  To show the world that you're somebody and deserve respect?  Don't wait.  And don't assume that you've missed some arbitrary deadline, because that's impossible.

And those alpholes?  And the coooool kids?  Don't worry - "look what yoooooou did" is the ONLY.  Card.  They.  Have.  To.  Play.  Keep being Bold and Bulletproof, and they'll have NOTHING to say.  And that's the best you'll get from them!

Today's a great day for a new start, but it can be done at ANY time.  I know I'n on my way.  How about you?



Sunday, September 7, 2014

Changing The Mood, But Not Losing Focus

Hey All!  Just watched the Jets start their season at 1-0.  

I'm a little surprised that I haven't posted in a month, but I consider it a vacation.  Sometimes that's needed.  In my case, a little time away from the blog was needed to "change the mood."

This blog is designed to be a motivating force for men and boys who lack confidence.  In order to get over that hump, a manageable amount of anger is needed to make lasting changes.  After all, nobody becomes bold or bulletproof by doing nothing.  I am encouraging my audience to be just angry enough to stop allowing themselves to be hurt, and to build the kind of life and self that they choose to have, rather than what others foist on them.

But for next while, I'd like to focus on what comes after we achieve what those powerful bursts of anger brought us - happiness.

As beta males, we are geared towards situations where it is not necessary to keep our guard up. We crave people and places that make us feel comfortable.  We yearn for those who accept us and respect us.  For those of you out there who doubt that a reward like this exists, I can tell you for a fact that it most certainly does.  You most certainly can find love and respect.  

When you find it, you cherish it.  You express that time-honored beta tradition of gratitude.  You act like it matters.  And provided you get the same joy out of it, you make them happy too.

Even after that, you're still not done.

In every comic book story and action movie that boys digest, the hero wins the prize and rides off into the sunset.  In real life, that sunset doesn't show up for many years after that single victory, and the closing credits don't roll until the carving on your headstone is completed.

This is not minimizing the prize that's been won, of course.  But you don't win a lifetime a leisure and indulgence from just one victory.  There are more prizes to be taken, and more battles to be won!  

So how do we maintain that joy of winning while still remaining vigilant?  Simple discipline.  Let the fact that you proved something to yourself add a little something extra to all your usual tasks.  A little zip, if you will.  It's not such drudgery when you've got happiness behind you.  Don't let it interfere with the present moment, instead let it make the present moment more enjoyable.

Don't assume that it's your last great act.  Add to it.  Stack it.  Expand it.  Pimp it.  Trick it.  Always look to improve it somehow.  That way it'll continue to be enjoyable and never get stale.

In other words, after you win the prize, take care of it.  Very good care.  You'll be proud of it.

And now, the first full week of September!



Sunday, August 10, 2014

What's The Opposite of an Alphole, Anyway?

Hey All!  End of a niiiice summer weekend, work tomorrow, and I think we're ready.

When I first coined the term "alphole," people turned their offense-o-meters way up and let your buddy David hear it loud and clear.  How I dare I use such a term?  How dare I "generalize," even if these people are real?  How dare I say the emperor is wearing no clothes when it's not "cool" to say it?

I'm ashamed to admit I haven't been posting consistently this summer, but I can assure you I wasn't caving in or kowtowing to such groupthink.  We Bold Betas are destined to face alpholes no matter what we do, and we must be prepared to protect ourselves against their misdeeds, provided we do not stoop to their level and follow the alphaganda.

But I'd like to speak about another type of person we might come across - and this person is the absolute 180-degree opposite of an alphole.  

Many of you reading this might not have someone in your life who fits this description.  There are ways to find them, and this may require you to be somewhat selective.  It means you have to set certain criteria as to who you invite into your life, and you have to reject those who don't meet them for the sake of self-preservation.  That way, it's impossible to be anyone else's follower or lackey.

Take away all those who don't make the cut, and who do you have?  People who get you.  People who understand you.  People who accept you as you are.  People who genuinely like you and care about you.  And more importantly, you'll feel exactly the same way about them.

And once you make that connection, you'll want to make them just as happy as they've made you.  This will feel effortless.  This will feel right.  And this will make you feel even more Bold and Bulletproof than you already feel, because you'll be sharing your strength with another.  Not sacrificing your own self worth to someone else, and not commandeering someone who's nobody on their own.  No, you're making each other better.

So what's the opposite of an alphole?  An S.Y.L.  Someone You Love.

Ain't that a pip.  I guess this blog isn't always about disparaging those who make our lives difficult and unpleasant.  Make no mistake, the alpholes still don't get away with it.  But one good way to stay Bold and Bulletproof is to replace the alpholes in our lives with as many SYL's as we can find.

There's no limit to the places you'll go with them!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Creed

Hey All.

A critic told me that my viewpoints in (a) agreeing with the Hobby Lobby decision and (b) supporting Israel in its war with Hamas and (c) strengthening the border were "not very beta."  

I'm not sure how to take that - should I immediately alter my position to be more to his liking?  Should I kowtow to his viewpoint?  Should I be one of those people who seek applause for being neutral just to look cool?

Nope.  Not exactly.  Doubt it.

You see, this blog is for the ADVANCEMENT of Beta Males, not the persistence of a stereotype.  This blog promotes self-actualization, which means, among other things, freedom and self-expression.  It encourages its readers to stop blindly following the crowd and to be individuals.  It encourages Beta Males to find themselves and embrace their true identities, and in doing so, make their own indelible marks on this world.

Unlike our dear friends, the alpholes, this is done without threatening or judging those who lack what we have.  No action is taken to humiliate anyone else, or to deride that which they hold dear.  It's just acting like you matter.

If they reach a different conclusion because they've set their offense-o-meter too wide, that's their problem, and not ours.  Part of that offense might be because the notion of a Beta Male becoming Bold, standing out from the crowd, and succeeding, is just intolerable to them.

Tough.  On.  Them.  They don't make the rules.

Of course, one downfall of this process is the possibility that some of these folks will need to be "let go from the firm."  If you're a good guy, looking to do the right thing, that's tough to do.  But if they are troubled by the transformation you make, so much that they try to convince you and everyone around you that you're wrong, misguided, or stupid, then they've outlived their welcome.  They don't deserve to be in your circle.

And by the way, that doesn't mean that all my readers should have the same political philosophy that I do.  You chart your own path, and that's fine with me.  Just as long as you're Bold and Bulletproof, you can take any stand you feel.  PROVIDED that the respect I give is RETURNED, as a quid pro quo, we'll get along fine.

As a tie-in to another great passion I have in life, this year, I'm running the NYC Marathon on behalf of all Bold Betas.  The guys who are ready to come out of their shells.  Who want to step outside the comfort zone.  Who want to be more in life than someone else's second banana.  

And I dare all of my critics to do the same!